Oh Silent Misery, desperate and silent, agonizing tyrant, a constant haunting evil spirit, demonizing fear, damn it you excite me. The more you hurt me the more I want you, I crave for you, I crave to hurt the pain that you feed. Tear my heart out and put it back in, watch me suffer and then hold me again. Touch me in the deepest core and scratch me so the scars remain a carving into the bark of my heart and memory. I can't stand the thought of leaving, but staying is my lethal injections that addict me to the pain and the near death experiences over and over again. With one stroke of the holy knife I could cut you out of my skin.

God, oh God -

My heart is empty and my stomach aches, I am not whole, I am weak; a broken winged angel, the more tortured, the more I stay. What is this prison without walls that holds me; you are a guard without a gun, yet I shutter to walk away from my capture. You've taken me out of myself, please put me back in. I am empty, frozen, alone in your presence, I long to be whole again. My stomach aches, my head pounds, I plan my escape, but I'd fall to pieces on the outside. Being controlled is more fun than being alone, crying out, searching, I did that once and it lead me to you. I laugh at this vicious circle that might bring you around again. The torture never ends, why can't I get you out of my head. I spin in the middle of the room hoping that the roof will cave in on my head and these thoughts will be scared from coming out again. It seems as if there's no end, I wipe my face of the tears, I can hear you walking up the stairs again.