I miss you, I miss more than I can say
I want to say it but I can’t
I want to lay next to you and hold you and you
Put your arms around me and I feel safe, I miss you so much
I don’t even know why I left anymore, it wasn’t worth it
Or maybe then it was but I can’t remember anymore
I want the time when you still cared even though you might not even
Think about me anymore
I needed you and I still do
I always felt that I loved you more and I needed you more
But now I would do anything to have you hold me again
I feel lifeless and soulless and hopeless
I’m lonely and scared and tired and I don’t have an appetite
I want to go back to you and kiss your lips and watch you eat
You were everything to me
You filled my life and my heart my soul my spirit
You gave me meaning and you answered so many things
I miss you now more than I ever thought I could
I like to think I am strong and most of the time I have to feel that I am
But I want to be weak in your arms and belong to you
I want you to own me again and make me a part of your world
Why does life take the road from under your feet and make you walk barefoot
It’s all been building up inside and I can’t take it anymore I have to let it out
It wants to burst out of me so bad that it hurts and it feels like it just might
So I have to let it out
Should I run, scream, cry, beg, plead, mercy mercy mercy
What mercy I don’t know yet but some mercy, from the pain I have now or for your mercy to take me back I can’t breathe and I need your air to fill this space because I am losing my mind trying to find the way to say what I have to say and make things right for you and for me, for us, I can’t face another day like this
I was connected to you in so many ways, now I connect with no one.
Every face is unfamiliar and everyone else is a stranger to me
I still feel like I belong to you, isn’t that crazy, I don’t want anyone else
Even if you are sharing with someone else I just want to watch I want to see your happy face and stare from a distance and that will be the closest I get I promise
I won’t be in the way, I don’t deserve it anyways
But if I could see your face then I could finish this off and find an end
I feel broken like a blood vessel and I am pooring out of myself endlessly, pointless and eventually it’ll be the rest of me, there’ll be nothing left to see and it’ll be in the same way I feel I miss you more than I’ve ever missed you before and I need you more than I’ve ever needed you before and I pray you’ll find me because I don’t have the strength to come to you and let you know please tell me you hear me because my silent tears will go unnoticed in just a few moments I will put this away and no one will see or hear how much I miss you. It’s been two years…

How do you do it?
And why?
You spent so much time doing things right
Only to find that it’s all working against you
So why not give up and stop and find a safe haven just to exist, just to survive.
Slowly melt away your existence and space that defines you
Nothing makes sense, although for years and years you’ve tried
Why not stop thinking, stop trying to see the brighter side, because you’ve yet to find it
Yet to see anything to lead you to believe there is a reward waiting for you
You’ve spent endless efforts of discipline
Countless hours of training
Gathering and preparing the tools you were told you’d need
Only in the end not to have the strength to carry them anywhere
Not even the strength to carry yourself.
At what point did it all change, the sunlight to dark
The hope to drought and nothing left in between
In between you and the fight
Things use to happen in a systematic way of working itself out
Now they just work together to work against you
At what point did it all change.
Did you change?
Now your lifeless soul stands alone to bare the scars of war and there’s no where to
Turn you can’t even hide, the rolling thunder inside you is the signal for this evil monster to find and as you lie unable to close your eyes at the stars above they give you that last drop of relief and the belief that maybe something will come to change your mind but then you can’t help to think, I hope that no one else falls for the same misconceptions.

Today’s Horoscope:
Even if the weather's fine, the world seems to be conspiring to rain on your personal parade. Don't whine; if you rethink things and discipline yourself, you can actually keep right on marching.