You just used me, for your personal gain
You abused me, and left me empty
I have to hold on to what is left
While you get ahead like all the rest
Back to step 1, all over again
Pushed back to start, but I have no strength
Don't know if it's worth it
Can't keep opening up and sharing
Being vunerable for the sake of my craft
Only for someone to squash me and my dream
And make me feel like I am last,
While you move forward
I don't do unto others, why do they do unto me
Their selfish heartless acts of minimizing my talents and effort
I've worked harder and made you who you are
Only to find that you're helping another girl
I'll just pray that one day I'll be the front person
Since now I was only the scapegoat in the scheme plotted against me
I know the truth will reveal and I'll prevail that
Eva was the one who remained real~

I deserve,

I deserve love, no drama, patience, understanding, compassion, being liked for being me, even if me isn’t the same everyday. Someone on my level or better, someone who only sees the best in me, someone who compliments me and is nurturing to my needs. I need someone like this and I deserve someone like this. I want to be this in return as well, I will learn from you, I need the stable show of affection and I will show you how well I pay attention. I’ve punished myself so many times before, feeling undeserving and pushing you away. I want to now embrace and attract you toward me. I have to be strong, to ward away the evil and unnatural attractions which I know are not right and I still let them in, I now only want to have room for one. The one, the one who’s right, the perfect fit to me and my heart, the one I deserve, because I am good and I have love to give. It’s sacred and special and priceless. Someone who earns it is the one who will receive it. I will not just give it to anyone who calls for it, I’ll be selling myself short and discrediting my heart’s worth. Something like my heart is worth millions, it’s valuable, should be cherished and handled with care, soft, gentle, slow caresses. It will blossom and you will feel it, if you deserve it. If not, I will continue to keep it in safe keeping and under the best protection. I will not let it be prematurely exposed and abused by someone who doesn’t know its real worth. If you feel you deserve what I feel I deserve then you can begin to understand what it takes to walk into this kind of desire, you will desire it too and we will understand each other. Unless you value yourself and your heart you wouldn’t know how to value mine.